It’s always awkward when you make a mistake. Even more so when someone has to politely point this out to you. But by far, it is most awkward when you’re not mistaken and it’s getting increasingly harder to be polite as you defend your position.
I was supposed to hang out with a friend this Saturday. I asked him, “Hey man, what you are up to on Saturday?” He tells me he -HAS- to meet up with some old coworkers. “—But, if you’re planning stuff, I’d much rather hang out with you and your friends.”
Well that’s quite the fluff to the old ego. I am, after all, awesome. So I quickly make plans (I’ve come to realize that I’m a bit of the planner type, “where should we meet, when, etc” because leaving it to chance or to your friends will result in it not happening, lazy bastards). He agrees, he’s stoked. YEAH VIDEO GAMES UNTIL FOREVERRRRRRR
That was Thursday. Today is Saturday. I send him a quick email confirming our plans. He sends me back this:
“Haha, yeah it would be great to hang out. But did you forget I’m hanging out with my former coworkers? Sorry man, maybe next time :-(“
If I could zoom in, I’d be zooming in on “BUT DID YOU FORGET I’M HANGING OUT WITH MY FORMER COWORKERS? SORRY MAN, MAYBE NEXT TIME :-(”
WTF? I understand if I had just mentioned it and let it drop. But we made concrete plans, he agreed to them, he was even happy about it! And then on the day of, he acts like we never made concrete plans?
I know I sound like a chick. It’s one thing if he REALLY wanted to go. But to say that he’d rather hang out with me and then totally ditch me for his former coworkers who he doesn’t even like??? Seriously?
And they all speak Korean. What is he going to say?
Whatever the case, I was most annoyed at having to respond to that. How do I stay polite while also telling him he made the plans and then broke them? I mean…there’s not a polite way to do that. Not to mention I just helped him get a brand new TV for super cheap (saved him like $300) out of the goodness of my blackened heart.
Sometimes I don’t understand people. Being a good friend is apparently not what some people are looking for. I’m not losing sleep over this, but I was making the effort to be friends because his girlfriend just left Korea (who I am good friends with and who actually begged me to spend more time with him since he has almost no friends here in Korea) and now I just don’t even feel like it.
[EDIT] I am not even kidding you, right after I clicked “publish” I got a text from him saying “Hold up, video game night might still happen. Text you back in an hour.” I am ripping out my hair at this point. Say WHAT? Like…do I even want to hang out with this guy now? Not only that, but I shifted plans since his email. Even if things do happen, it’s gonna be awkward as hell hanging out with him.
How do you deal with people who reject your friendship?
